Our Chair of Trustees, Paul Davis, paid a visit to the Isle of Wight Prostate Cancer Support Group this summer. A group which has been supporting men living with or affected by prostate cancer since 2011. After spending an afternoon there, he came away with some reflections…
Reflections…
Sometimes, a life experience takes you by surprise, even at my age. Recently, I walked into a room that defined for me something that I have grappled with for years, compassion. For me, compassion is ‘love in action’ and that’s what my wife, Karen, and I encountered, very palpably at The Isle of Wight Prostate Support Group.
All Tackle’s prostate cancer support groups have safe, open spaces for those affected by prostate cancer to share and learn, some groups accompany this with awareness initiatives, so the components were common, but the blend was special.
‘There were hugs, ‘how are you’s?’ that were genuine than cursory.’
Even as the fifty six gathered, there were hugs, ‘how are you’s?’ that were genuine rather than cursory, quiet and intense conversations between those picking up threads about a friends on-going condition, and sympathetic support for the widows in the room whose husbands were former members. “Tuning in” to the intense babble, there was talk of a funeral well-supported, of a community event which benefitted from awareness leaflets, of fund-raising resulting in a big presentation cheque, not to mention The Van which proudly tours the group’s prostate testing events from The Needles to Sandown and all points in between.
Quietly, oh so quietly, a newly diagnosed member was diverted to a private space for a one-to-one conversation about his treatment decision and current mental health, based on the principles of Tackle’s “Make Sense of It”. The Charity’s executive team caught up with one another and maintained the welcome to all. Love in action… and the meeting was still to start.
The formalities got underway with an utterly bewildering listing of events over the past and coming months, and an impressive report on their impact; tens upon tens having support through their prostate cancer, hundreds receiving PSA tests, thousands being exposed to awareness information. Impressively the accent was on the individuals, here was a report demonstrating a mature community that cared. They expressed that with flowers for Karen who was similarly taken with the open honesty of those she spoke to.
Giving my presentation.
I had prepared a presentation which I put to one side, feeling quite emotional after witnessing all of the above. On the hoof, expressing how I felt might have been a little clumsy, and yes, there was a waver in my voice as I played back my deep emotions seeing ‘love in action’. The geographical isolation of the group might mean they have cause to think all with prostate cancer are supported like their members, and that is Tackle’s aspiration. Fortunately, there are many groups who are just this special, but sadly, there is much to do in the many areas with no peer support for the 600,000 living with prostate cancer across the UK.
Feeling fulfilled.
I came away energised, privileged to have seen what a good group feels like in action and determined to use my position to spread Tackle’s compassionate message throughout the network, present and forming.
And the grains of sand? Karen and I filled an ornament unique to the Isle of Wight containing Alum Bay sand. And why this ornament? Well, AI estimated that it contains 600,000 grains, one for each person with prostate cancer in the UK. This group cares, grain by grain, and I can only commend them wholeheartedly for their extraordinary, selfless compassion. It will live with me and guide me for a long time to come.
If you’re living with or affected by prostate cancer there are over 160 prostate cancer support groups across the UK, that a free to access and a run by people who have been there. Find your local group by clicking this link.
